dippingswordsinmetaphors:

you know when you listen to a song a whole bunch of times and there is that one line that you never understand and then one day heaven above opens and shines the light and you finally know the words and it’s like an epiphany

quazza:

i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence

ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

enasnivolz:

ealperin:

reading-thoughts:

edwardspoonhands:

Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…

These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.

To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
     - Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”

*Crying with laughter*

ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.

my-name-is-hilarious:

theyahoostaff:

yourfriendthecrow:

I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS

We are not fucking HILARIOUS

HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING

theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD

theboywhofangirled:

falkner:

someone bought an entire page of ad space in my school’s yearbook and just put the word ahloo on it

#THERE IS NO WAY THAT PERSON DOES NOT SPEAK HINDI OR URDU #AND IM LAUGHING MY HEAD OFF BECAUSE THATS LITERALLY JUST POTATO #WHO WRITES POTATO IN HINDI IN A YEARBOOK

bitchytbh:

bitchytbh:

bitchytbh:

My best friend just lost her virginity bc she was too lazy to turn a light on and the boy she was with said “I’ll turn it on if you fuck me” so he did and they did..

AND THEY DIDN’T USE A CONDOM BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO LAZY TO GET ONE OUT OF HER BAG

And she’s trying to figure out when she last had her period depending on what homework she had due

wayward-saints:

jimmyjamjimjohn:

rubywhiterabbit:

One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.